16 5 / 2012
"Beautiful is the moment in which we understand that we are no more than an instrument of God; we live only as long as God wants us to live; we can only do as much as God makes us able to do; we are only as intelligent as God would have us be."
15 5 / 2012
12 5 / 2012
Currently listening to: “Winter Song” By: The Head & The Heart
Currently sipping on: Coconut Coffee
…If your taste buds have never experienced such a flavor, I encourage you to bless them with the privlege. It’s pure bliss.
Why has it been so long since I’ve written down my thoughts?
I have a very love/hate relationship with being busy. On one hand, it boosts my spirits with an accomplished feeling of productivity. Yet, on a completely different hand… It can send me to an overwhelming state of stress. You know that feeling, that there simply isnt enough time in the day.. ?? …that feeling frazles me.
I’m not complaining; Just stating the obvious.
One thing that’s becoming more and more obvious to me is my constant need to jump ahead of myself.
I have an extremely hard time embracing my current seasons in life; At the first sign of lingering, my flesh becomes distressed & I’m on a raving rampage to get myself to the next stage in life.
I have to learn that contentment is not an evil thing.
1 Timothy 6:6-20 “Serving God does make us very rich, if we are satisfied with what we hve….”
Society pummels this idea in our head’s that.. we constantly have to be on the go. “Life is short” so you have to get out there and live it, rushing from one thing to the next.
But in the midst of all that rushing, sometimes our lives just become sloppy, & we miss things. & as a result… by trying to avoid all the parts of life we dont like… we miss the parts we actually do like.
Don’t get me wrong, as with most things in life, I think the concept relies heavily on the matter of balance. One should be weary of becoming overly content… but yet not so weary that the practice of contentment is skipped over entirely.
Personally, I think I need to be slower with my desire to forge ahead; constantly wanting to get out of my present state is tiring… & I end up missing a lot. To quote Ecclesiastes… “there is a time for everything, & a season for every activity under heven.” Don’t let that concept become something you hear but never truely listen to; It can very easily become a cop out:
We fill our head with excuses, such as… “oh, now isn’t the right season.”
But is there really a “right” season? …A season is a season, theres no need to overanalyze it. The season you’re in right at this very moment is important whether you choose to acknowledge that or not. It may not be giving you the desires of your mind… put it surely is shaping your heart. So, let the shaping happen.
Stop rushing to the happiness that appears to be on the opposite side from where you’re standing. Because I gaurentee, once you get to that happy “greener grass” place… the next yard is going to look even greener. & the cycle continues… and “the world spins madly on”… and we miss out.
Don’t miss out.
Acknowledge where you are.
& stop trying to change it.
Change will come when it’s supposed to.
Let God work through your life on his time… not yours. Your timing sucks. His is perfect.
Resolve not to worry so much, and embrace the learning and growing season just as much as the “well-done” season.
Enjoy the fine details in life; details are a gift from God… don’t waste the gift. :)
Praying you find contentment this week!
Thanks for reading. You make me happy.
30 4 / 2012
26 4 / 2012
"…And I could not have known then that everbody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God’s way. All my life I have been changing. I changed from a baby to a chld, from soft toys to play daggers. I changed into a teenager to drive a car, into a worker to spend some money. I will change into a husbnd to love a woman, into a father to love a child, change houses so we are near water, and again so we are near mountains, and again so we are near friends, keep changing with my wife, getting our love so it dies and gets born again and again, like a garden fed by four seasons, a cycle of change. Everbody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.
I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, becuse a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently."
This man & his word’s make me want to write a book.
01 4 / 2012
"Beware of outstripping God by your very longing to do His will.” - the great Oswald Chambers."
25 3 / 2012
Extremely loud spanish music.
;I can literally feel the anxiety dispersing through a gentle yet evident tingle in my legs.
The combination of the first thing and the latest thing are causing this girl to lack heavily in a thing she most desperately needs.
Sleep, I miss you… Let’s be friends again, okay? thanks.
Alas, I can not only & simply complain… My neighbor friends are having a good time, & the internet is defying the norm by functioning with great ease tonight.
In other news:
**I saw “The Hunger Games” on friday. & my advice to you is; read the book. Not only just in the case of “The Hunger Games”… but with any book in any case. Reading is good.
**The talent of my friends has been exceedingly apparent lately. I’m on this mission to surround myself with as much talent as humanly possible, out of a selfish hopefulness that even a triffling amount will rub off on me. It’s worth a shot, right? …plus I find their spirits invigorating & completely contagious;SCORE!
**I’m slowly learning the difference between my “job” and my “purpose”, & working desperately to fuse the two together, which may result in eliminating one entirely? (More to come on this later). (I know… the suspense is killing you, right? Well stop… everybody loves a good cliff hanger).
**The depth of my insecurities are seemingly entering an overflow, which I never thought possible. I’ve always known it to be a struggle, but as a result of it’s deep roots… I’ve became complacent to accept the struggle rather than hurdle over it.
…See, I have this constant, overwhelming feeling of unworthiness. I’m not entirely sure where it stems from? & it sounds completely depressing now that I’m actually writing it down. But it’s not. I like to think a lot of it has to do with the amount of love I have for the Lord… & this is something I can not even begin to explain to you in words.
To Him, I owe my entire life, I have known no greater love, nor will I ever. He takes my breath away, & yet at the same time… He is the very air that I breathe.
As a result of all this love, I am completely aware of my tendencies to be, for lack of a better word, human. I know that I am totally undeserving of this unworldly love that God has shown me; which in a sense, is a favorable attribute (If I do say so myself). The word tells us to be humble before God. However, the whole thing kind of back-fires on me and I end up pushing away the very love I am so hungry for. I push it away because the more I learn, and read, the more I realize how great He is and how altogether un-great I am. (yep, un-great, it’s a word)
Most recently, some very good friends have pointed out to me that If all this is true; If I refuse to let go of this sense of unworthiness I have for myself, then I am denying Christ of the love He selflessly poured out for me. I might as well be staring Jesus in the face and saying “hey, thanks for dying for me and all that… but I can’t seem to earn it, therefore I don’t want it… so thanks, but no thanks.”
Acceptance; The act of taking or receiving something offered, the act of assenting or believing, the fact or state of being accepted; acceptable.
I need to learn to be more accepting of this Love He’s shown me. Not because I want it, or because I feel like it’s something I’ve earned… but because God WANTS me to have it. & I simply refuse to refuse God… If He wants me to have it, it’s obviously something I need; a seemingly simple lesson… that is so hard for me to grasp.
But I’m learning, & I’m trying… and I think you should too. What is mine doesn’t have to be yours, but we all need a little lovin, don’t ya think?
I think we do… so in hindsight, I urge you to accept the love the universe throws your way. You may not always be deserving of it, but that’s why they call it love, my friends. If we only received love every time we “deserved” it… we’d be a loveless folk. But were not a loveless folk. We are beautifully human… created to both give and accept one of the greatest things to have ever happened to this planet. Love is big, it’s loud, & it’s powerful… let it have power over your life; Not because you accomplished it, but because you adore it.
& I adore YOU.
I want you to have all the love this world has to offer… so don’t refuse me by being proud. :)
It’s yours for the taking.
Take it & then give it right back out to the world. You’ll find it’s a very wonderful and endless cycle.
Thank you, once again for reading through the madness. I wish I could tell you how much it means to me, but words simply aren’t strong enough.
I’m praying for you.
& I LOVE YOU.
20 3 / 2012
"So often we do things that make sense to us and ask God to bless our actions and come alongside our plans, rather than looking at the things God promises to bless and acting alongside of them. For we know that God’s blessing will inevitably follow if we are with the poor, the merciful, the hungry, the persecuted, the peacemakers. But sometimes we’d rather have a God who conforms to our logic than conform our logic to the God whose wisdom is a stumbling block to the world of smart bombs and military intelligence."
18 2 / 2012
…Yes that is an ode to switchfoot. & no, I’m not at all mad about
I’m in this stage in my life, where the desire to challenge myself has become
overwhelming. I can’t help but to think that my life is entirely wrapped up in
my own well being… & and that is simply not ok. My faith should be a constant
outward expression, but aside from my faith…. If you take out the “religious”
mumbo jumbo, I think it’s our humanstic “duty” to live outside of ourselves.
You can disagree with me if you’d like, but nonethelss I think if every single
one of us did some of these things that pushed our love to it’s limits… our
communities could be a lot better.
….That’s just my opinion, take it for what it is I guess;
But if on the off chance you feel the least bit inspired by this short
ramble, then… to you, I propose a challenge;
These things don’t require much, except a little bit of time and a whole
lotta love, Even if you do just one… I commend you… or do them all, so long
as you do them with the right intentions, expecting nothing in return.
Ready. Set. GO!
- Grow a garden —- to share.
-The next person who asks you for spare change… don’t ignore them, better
yet… don’t give them change. Ask them out to dinner. Get to know them.
- Write a letter… tell someone you’re sorry, or simply that you love them.
But make sure you write it by hand.
- Go to a book store and leave encouraging notes in the pages of your
- Plant a tree.
- Give your coat to someone who is a lot colder than you… my guess is you
probably have another one waiting at home anyway.
- Go without TV… for a year, do something better with your time.
- Help out at a homeless shelter… better yet… just go and hang out at a
homeless shelter, if you’re really cool… you’ll do this more than once
- Go to a thrift store and leave $1 bills in the pockets of coats and
- Next time your water bill comes, pay your neighbor’s too…
- Go to an elderly home and get a list of people who don’t get regular
visitors… visit them, read with them, LEARN from them.
- Hand out cards of encouragement to people who look as though they could use
it. (this includes strangers)
- Get some sidewalk chalk and take to the sidewalks… write uplifting
- Leave a note of niceness on expired parking meeters, we all know that
dreaded “parking ticket” feeling, have some empathy.
- Pray with someone, or just LISTEN to someone, try not to focus on yourself
for 5 minutes.
- Grab an extra hot coffee from starbucks tomorrow morning, and give it to
the guy who sleeps on the sidewalk near your office… Tell him he holds a vast
amount of potential.
This list could go on forever… but I thinK you get the idea, LOVE on the
world around you, it needs it… and that fulfilling feeling you’ll get in
return, yeah, that goes unmatched!
SO, my beautiful friends… Spread love this week… I DARE YOU!